It's my birthday today! Actually, not only that but it's my golden birthday! And honestly, it sucks. This time of year is all about family and the surrounding holidays and it is exhausting to try and squeeze in something a bit selfish like a birthday celebration. I've learned how to party in small ways though as I do like birthdays so here are a few tips if a special day of yours has this problem too.
  1. Remind others
    • Don't be embarrassed or secretive about it being your birthday. Getting older or singling yourself out as someone worthy of a few kind words is something totally acceptable. Be proud that today is your day and that it is one worth celebrating. Don't hold back and instead encourage others to celebrate with you; I find that usually they are glad that you shared with them so they can share it with you.
  2. Pamper yourself
    • Make yourself feel good by looking good. Get your hair or nails done, wear (and/or buy) a new shirt, or just take that extra long shower in the morning and shave your legs. Dressing up a little bit can make a regular work day feel that extra little bit special. No one can make you feel as special as you can for yourself!
  3. Eat chocolate
    • Yeah, chocolate is always a good idea. :-) The simple indulgences are sometimes the best ones and so if you don't want a huge birthday cake you have to eat yourself (and then feel guilty over), splurge on something tasty that you don't often do. Your birthday comes only once a year so take advantage of it!
And by the way, enjoy the snow! Five inches and counting here in Colorado - I think it snows on my birthday more often than it should, lol.
I love Christmas. It's my favorite holiday. I can think of nothing better but time off with my family to eat good food, give and receive gifts, and all the pageantry of the Christmas season like wrapped presents, baking cookies, and putting up the tree. And with it getting dark so early, the decorations of Christmas lights is the only thing that keeps me going.
  1. Nearly nothing
    • We know you are either too lazy or scared to do much else than change a light bulb. I like to think that rather than being a Grinch these people are celebrating inside their homes and hearts. These are like introvert party goers. Even if they don't party like we do, they can still have a good time even if they don't show it.
  2. Overly done
    • I'm not sure why you like the blowup sleigh and countless moving reindeer and elves but there must be a reason you like to go above and beyond. Like posting too much on facebook, sharing with others is part of the activity. Their philosophy is if you're happy and you know it, tell the world!
  3. Joint simplicity
    • I love seeing a street with the outline of each house lit up. The whole neighborhood display shows everyone's unique house and light choices and it contributes to a bigger picture of what Christmas means to me. Keeping it simple and doing something special once a year is a beautiful way to silently tell those driving by that they've got it good.
Happy holidays too to the Hanukah, Kwanza and other religious and non-religious holiday celebrators. I hope you enjoy the lights as much as I do! 
I am often INsprired by the milestones of those around me and this week is a very special one - my dad is retiring! It is a very exciting milestone and turning point in your life when those you love retire and can leave the stresses of work behind and spend time doing what they love. I got to spend a wonderful Thanksgiving with my family and my dad's retirement is one of many reasons we are thankful this year. When thinking about the impact of life's events, there are many ways to celebrate!
  1. Remembering back
    • You've accomplished a lot in the last [too] many years in the workforce. It is impressive how many tough bosses, grand wins, difficult projects, and impressive achievements you've survived. Now you can use it as story telling for younger generations instead of as convincing evidence to your superiors. Whew! Sharing your past with those around you is a great way to celebrate the efforts you've put forth to get to where you are today.
  2. Looking forward
    • What is most likely on your mind is the future adventures you are going to have now that you are retired! You can travel during non-holiday times of the year. You can sleep in on weekdays. You can pick up that hobby you never had time for or read that book on your bucket list. So much time and so much fun to be had! Looking forward to the many new challenges and adventures can keep you hungry and keep life interesting regardless of your age.
  3. Living in the moment
    • With no agenda, deadlines, or rules, you can do all of those things you wanted to... or not. No one is going to make you and if you change your mind because you feel like it, you can do that too! Relax and take it one day at a time any way you wish. It is a great way to live life to the fullest and enjoy every hour without worrying about what comes next.
I hope you and yours had a wonderful Thanksgiving too and have more holiday family time to come!
Coming back from a first trip to Europe definitely leaves you a bit jet lagged. It took us nearly two weeks to get back onto local time at full brain capacity. It was a very different trip for us as we moved around between 6 cities (Venice, Pisa, Florence, Assisi, Sorrento, and Rome) in 10 days and honestly it equated to lots of stress navigating new places, coordinating priorities, and communicating. I learned some fascinating things about the culture, history, and economics of Italy. As it was a couples trip rather than a school trip, I did have slightly different expectations and we did have a wonderful time. Here is a short synopsis of fun facts and traveling advice that hopefully gives you some insight into Italy.
  1. You go to Italy to be a tourist; to see the sights of long gone empires like the Romans, which leaves the current 21st century not much in comparison to show for itself other than preserving this great history. That means much of the economy and daily life of Italians surrounds tourism including food, transportation, and shopping. So there aren't many "local spots" to learn about or understand as you are living it as tourists.
  2. We rented a car which was probably an expense way to get around. Nonetheless we enjoyed the freedom and had no trouble translating our Colorado mountain driving to the hazardous cliffs and hills that we found in Italy. We did however forget to turn off "Avoid Tollways" on our GPS which extended our first drive by 2 hours. The Italians though totally get "keep to the right except the pass" and if there isn't a formal traffic lane, you have make one... specifically when passing in Tuscany.
  3. Italy (including Venice) is just not the romantic city you have in your dreams. Yes, there are gondola drivers, operas, and naked statues but it was like trying to throw a Christmas party during Sunday Night Football; it just doesn't seem natural to cuddle up and whisper love notes to each other. Sure you can escape to your hotel with a bottle of wine, but with no A/C, full sized beds, or showers you can turn around in, the truth is you can only take it so far. My advice is to go for the art, architecture, and views... not the honeymoon luxury experience.
  4. As I said in the China synopsis, I seek out the green spaces because nature helps relax me after the hustle and bustle of too many people. Other than Tuscany, the "Green Heart of Italy", there isn't much. Seriously, there aren't flower boxes or parks or trees anywhere in the cities. Oh, there was a garden in Florence but wow.
  5. The food (espresso, bread, and wine) was pretty much everything you would expect and you would have the same experience in every restaurante pizzeria you went in.
General Q&A:

Q1: Are there really that many pickpocketers around?
A1: We went on the off season and were overly careful with baggage locks, zippered pants, and no purses so we personally didn't experience anything other than eager rose givers. I've heard personal accounts though from others so I'd stay cautious.
Q2: What was the most surprising thing you experienced?
A2: The Trevi fountain was a complete disappointment because it was undergoing deep cleaning. At best we could only see 1/2 of one horse. I wish someone on the countless tour buses had said something; it didn't even warrant a picture it was covered with scaffolding.
Q3: What was your favorite thing?
A3: The homemade lemoncello and pies that we had at our hotel in Sorrento along the Amalfi coast. It was straight from the lemon trees on the property! Amazing.
Q4: What was your favorite food?
A4: We had Pizza is good but we didn't experience anything unforgettable in either North or South Italy. Definitely a bit more of a punch to flavor in Rome though.
Q5: What was your best purchase?
A5: Upgrading to a really nice hotel in Florence.
Q6: What typical Italian activities did you do?
A6: See above. The closest thing I'd say however is when we dropped off our car in Fiumicino and rode the public transit. It was an beach town and definitely the only place we saw locals doing local activities but it still was a holiday type stop with more shopping as the main activity.
Q7: Any advice for traveling?
A7: Get a GPS. Even without a car, we found it extremely useful for tracking our route walking around the cities, marking points of interest destinations, and when we got lots in Rome at night. We wouldn't travel to Europe again without it. Oh, we used the Oregon 650.
Q8: Any “do not miss” spots in Northern Italy?
A8: Do not miss the Santa Maria del Fiore domed church in Florence. Stunning on the outside and you could walk around it more than once with your jaw dropped. The stairs on the inside are not for the faint of heart but the view after 400+ stairs is something spectacular.
Q9: Any “do not miss” spots in Southern Italy?
A9: Stop in Tuscany outskirts somewhere if you can. There are tons of little towns, each with their own domed church and it was interesting to see the similarities and differences between them and the big cities.
Q10: Would you go back?
A10: Probably not. Most of the sites to see were historical and old so after you've seen them once, you don't need to see them again. Honestly you learn more with a guaranteed view on a documentary which I recommend Nova's Colosseum one or Pompeii.
I love companies that understand flexible schedules and work locations. Everyone is different and shouldn't have to play by the same rules during every stage of their life. For example, giving new parents the option to work from home is great! To avoid driving in icy weather is great! However, I've experienced how some take advantage of this freedom. I've also experienced how I personally respond to that freedom. It is not for me. And here's why.
  1. Multi-tasking to the max
    • Working from home, now you aren't limited to just the email, phone, instant messenger, piles of papers and software programs. It expands to the dishwasher, the TV, the dryer, the doorbell, the dog, and the list goes on. There are so many distractions and "to do list" items to get done that well, nothing gets done. Nothing gets your full attention because you try to do it all. I am a devote list maker and when I'm at home sometimes it overlaps which doesn't help me be productive at all.
  2. Proximity to home
    • Having definite boundaries between home and work is important if you want to achieve balance. But when the door to your office is precariously close to the kitchen, you drop in and out so often that the physical boundaries are hardly there. Having a snack or a dog walk in the middle of the day might seem like a good way to "clear your head" before hunkering down but it doesn't work for me. The mental boundaries aren't there either as people often work late into the night just because they can.
  3. Technical difficulties
    • Whether it is your phone forwarding to your cell, connection through too many firewalls, or just working on your laptop keyboard instead of a external one, there is always something that will slow you down. It is awkward using my desk even with the extra monitors. It takes longer to connect to the servers and get information. And it is always frustrating when technology is the thing standing between you and getting things done.
How do you feel about working for home? Love it? Hate it? Does the freedom make you more productive or does it just give you the illusion of it?
Are you a perfectionist? Are you an addict? Everyone has something that they say "just one more" to. Maybe it is that favorite type of ice cream, that thrill feeling from roller coasters, or setting the perfect table for the once-a-year family gathering. What can you not get enough of and you have to use your strongest willpower to tell yourself to move on or that it is good enough. It is not always a bad characteristic to have, especially in a competitive work environment.
  1. It gives you options
    • When something isn't quite perfect, starting from scratch can be the fresh perspective you need to achieve that end result that you had in mind. Sometimes that means you have two finished products and you choose the best of two. When the final decision is not in your hands, this can often be to your advantage. You know it will change again after they see it anyways, am I right?
  2. It makes others smile
    • When you can't just let something rest and keep trying to make things even better, it is a great face for customer service. When providing support or making a sale, going the extra mile to deliver to the customer can mean referrals and positive reviews.
  3. It makes you busy
    • If you know how to tackle things yourself and fix things without the direction and/or approval of others, you will go far. Taking the initiative and not waiting on others means you are never short of things to do. To never be bored at work means you love your job and isn't that what we all aspire for?
An additional thought I'd like to say on this topic. If you know what things you have trouble saying "no" to because you love doing them, you know your true passions. Once you know them, have different passions in your work and your home. If I was to turn writing into a career, I think I'd be miserable. Instead the freedom fuels my love for it. The same goes for music. What is the magical passion for you?

Today's post is inspired by favorite read, Seth's Blog and another article about the Passion Trap with Mike Rowe.
I'm in Iowa this week for business! There are so many reasons why I love my job at Tyler, but this week has been a special experience being onsite at the County Office buildings on Election Day with so many of the elected officials. Many people planned late nights to watch the results roll in and there was a constant flow of friendly "good luck" quips throughout the halls. Politics isn't for everyone and even if all you do is your civic duty of voting every November 4th, make it count and learn to appreciate your civil servants!
  1. Don't judge quickly
    • The political ads and single policy platforms make it too easy to pick sides with little further thinking. Feel strongly about one issue and you can be blinded by how they react to other issues that they will undoubtedly be voting on. Sure it seems like 6 of one 1/2 dozen of the other but don't make it a coin flip!
  2. Be in their shoes
    • The data and opinions that these people work with every day are strong. It can be hard to stay the course and finish the goals you started with such opposition. I bring lots of change into the office with my company's software and the officials' patience is commendable. They really are cool and collected while faced with the opposition of people and technology that they don't understand. In their shoes I would be much more difficult to work with!
  3. Trust they are doing their best
    • Every action in the office is because the officials care about doing things right. I've seen the officials protect the county by being overly protective of confidential information, being picky about how information is transferred, and question requested changes to the process. It may seem silly and annoying from my perspective but at the same time it reaffirms my faith in the political system. They really do have your back in the way they look out for the public and trust the law.
Congratulations to the reelected and newly elected leaders for 2015!
Maybe I am inspired by Freakonomics, but I think one of the most influential factors of women's rights is gay marriage. A couple with two woman or two men means that the traditional roles don't exist. Equality at home and at work is a very different argument because both partners are "naturally good at" the same thing and must both compensate. This challenge looks like role reversal in some context and actually forces acceptance in community expectations. There is no "sugar daddy", "bread winner", or one that "wears the pants". So why are heterosexuals still bound by these labels?
  1. Debunk the Myths
    • All girls don't like pink, play with dolls and wear high heels. If your daughter dislikes these things it doesn't make her any less of a girl. Just because she knows how to change the oil in her car or do calculus only means she is handy and smart. So invite your girl friends fishing and your boy friends to the art show because a personality doesn't say anything about one's gender or sexual orientation.
  2. Debunk Tradition
    • Woman stay at home and men bring home the bacon, right? That's the only way? No. The best way? No. There are already situations with single parents or same sex parents. They all can (and do) raise kids. They all can and do have jobs. The traditional definition of family has changed and can be with furry kids, no kids, adopted kids, inseminated kids, etc. so there is no longer a societal norm so we need to let go of the expectations that go along with them.
  3. Debunk Your Nature
    • Sure, women have the babies, you can't argue with that. And ya, pregnancy is 9 months long, but maternity leave doesn't have any rules. By law you aren't an independent adult until 18 and you can't drink until 21; did that ever stop you from finding ways around the "guidelines"? There is always someone that will push the boundaries and challenge the norm. Know the difference between making your own tough choices and accepting the choices others make for themselves that you can't change.
The unknown is scary and when you don't know why or how to act differently your gut reaction is to fall into your comfort zone of moral values. I think that women's rights shouldn't be something that still surprises us. We need to act. Take responsibility for your own unconscious bias and take steps to overcome them today, not tomorrow.
The argument we are preaching is to "change men" and get them to start caring about something that they just don't do [enough of] now. Instead of fighting for work equality, maybe we should encouraging them to join us on our side of the fence. Appeal to their already existing emotions and talk about what men already love: their families. We should tell men to do MORE of what they love rather than try to change it to be for working with women. Here's why I think this technique would be more effective:
  1. It's a selfish game
    • Men (and women) want to fight for their own success. It is a selfish game. It is a personal game. We can't ask them to give up their salaries for equal pay. We can't ask them to quit a job to stay home with the kids. We need to share the burden, together. Be an active participant in your kids lives and get the dads more involved... and not just on masculine tasks like taking out the trash and replacing light bulbs but also grocery shopping and hair brushing.
  2. The metrics don't lie
  3. Proven to work
    • In WWII men left for war. The barriers for woman doing hard labor left (literally). We (women) are asking for work-life balance and are fighting a one sided battle of getting working rights. Encourage men to spend more time at home raising their sons, raising their daughters. Then the opportunities for woman to pick up the slack in the work place will appear. Change the focus from the work environment to the home environment!
I bet as a consequence the nation would see a decrease in divorce rates and child depression/violence. When dads live at home versus away even makes an impact so can you image if they went to soccer games, took their kids fishing, and cooked dinner? Happy healthy kids, couples, and families!
The unconscious bias against women's in the workplace is a subject near and dear to my heart that I know a lot of facts about and have experienced personally on many levels. Honestly we haven't made much progress in the last 40 years. Only 17% woman sit on Fortune 500 boards. The US is the only country to not have paid maternity leave. Woman are paid only $0.77 on the dollar compared to men's wages. So here is a 3-part blog post on some very unconventional thoughts I have on the matter.

I don't know how closely you follow social trends but the #whyileft and #heforshe twitter hashtags actually happened within the same weeks. One trying to tell men to not abuse their female partners and the other trying to tell men to support woman in the workplace more. Both of these issues, abuse and discrimination, occur simply because we are a different sex! It seems like a frustrating battle that keeps reoccurring with no actual long term change happening. Why? Here are a few things to think about:
  1. You're doing it wrong
    • No one likes to be told "no", "you're doing it wrong" or "stop doing that". No one and yet that is our message. Rape is bad; don't do it. Abuse is wrong; don't do it. Treating woman unequally isn't right; don't do it. This is a tough message to swallow if you are the target. Even though it is a good one, we need to instead offer alternatives. Instead of "don't do this" try a message of "do this". Tell people to give more compliments. Teach your kids to share their emotions out loud. Tell people to add child care services to the company benefits plan.
  2. I hear what you're saying, but
    • I think it is an important issue. You think it is an important issue. We are both active in making our personal lives not be filled with such hatred. That is all I can do, right? Some people think that there isn't a problem or if there is it isn't there problem. If think your vote doesn't counts, you don't act. If you yourself aren't surrounded by such situations, you don't speak out. Even if you aren't faced with the issue yourself, join the conversation. No matter how tough a subject is, the more we talk about it with others, the more chance we have of making a difference.
  3. Ignorance is bliss
    • Who is it you are trying to change behavior of? The ones that stick their fingers in their ears and sing "lalalalala" or point there fingers at others. The ones that aren't listening. The ones that don't think they have a problem. Abuse and discrimination can be very unconscious acts and soon become the norm. You don't know any other way! Show them another way. Flood the gossip channels with stories of working together, of happy families achieving their goals, or teams sharing passion.
It isn't all about you. Let me say that again: it isn't all about you. I don't care how good of a driver you are but your headlights purpose is not solely for you to see where you are going at midnight. Your headlights help other people see YOU! So if it is not sunny and bright outside, turning your headlights on (and subsequently also your running lights) makes you visible. The people driving around you in the rain, snow, dust storm, whatever, can now see you coming from the other direction or merging like a moron (cough, Colorado drivers, cough).

Why do you not do it with the lights on!?
  1. Because I'm Being Defensive
    • Defensive driving means you are limiting your thinking to reactive. Sure, it is smart to be aware of the other drivers around you but where you are will change how they drive. If you are more visible to the offensive drivers right on your bumper then they may give you another extra few inches.
  2. Because I'm Being Selfish
    • Maybe when you got in your car you flipped your light on and off to see if it did anything. Or maybe your car is soo smart it is supposed to "take care of itself". Do you think you are the only one on the road? No... otherwise you wouldn't be sitting in traffic right now. Help the traffic help you and turn your lights on for others on the road with you.
  3. Because I'm Oblivious
    • The worst! You are so involved in what is going on inside the car (music, cell phone, heater, whatever) you just don't even realize that you should turn your wipers or headlights on. Why do you think that truck cut you off? They must want you to start your day off with the wrong foot forward. Uh, no... open your eyes and please just drive!
Maybe you read a different innuendo in the title of this article today, but honestly, go back and read the lessons again (with a few substitutions of drive/r = love/r) because they are kind of still true!
Money is a tough conversation, no matter who with, how much, or what it is being spent on. I always feel like the moment a dollar figure comes into play, things turn serious. Money puts a value on things and whether that is your time, your effort, or someone else's effort and sometimes you may be surprised by the answer. This is beyond the usual make vs. buy (to DIY or not DIY) conversation into a whole other realm of is it worth it. Here are some trick questions that might help you get to the bottom of a money question.
  1. Would you pay 10% more for the same thing?
    • Sometimes simply putting the ball in the court of "more" is enough to tip the scale from a "need" to just a "nice to have". This is a great technique if going from a $0 to a not-$0 amount say in an all-encompassing contract. If the extra cost of quality on something specific is worth an added fee though, go for it.
  2. If all of a sudden it was free (or highly discounted), would the value stay the same?
    • Sometimes the price tag alone can be a status symbol. Take a new 2015 BMW 7 series for example. Would it means the same if everyone could pick one up tomorrow at the cost of a 3 series? Probably not. Even if you still enjoyed the car, the uniqueness would be lost along with the desire for the competitive speed.
  3. Would you still need/want this in 6 months?
    • Does the age of something increase or decrease its importance? A bottle of wine might be worth a few percentage points more but a computer game would be on the discount shelves as old news. Maybe you bought an alternative or the development time has doubled unexpectedly and now the sunk costs make you rethink your original decision. Technology moves quickly so assess the long term implication of the cost... or cost savings.
In any case with money, keep in mind that whomever is on the other sides wants to spend less and make more, just like you. So try to compromise where you can and know the limits in which you aren't willing to negotiate further. And never offer something and not deliver or flat out retract it. The trust you will lose it just not worth it in any deal.

Not unlike many Americans, I am allergic to nickel. Most people discover this when they pierce their ears but for me I guess it must be a pretty high sensitivity because even the metal grommets on the corners of jean pockets make me break out in an itchy terrible rash. Why are they even on there!?! So I have a few options, cover/replace the metal or buy only pants without metal rivets; and you'd be surprised by how frustrating an experience it is! Aren't there other methods of sewing pocket corners? Why don't jeans companies change?
  1. That's the way its been done since 1872
    • To be fair, they probably buy this item by the tonne and probably pay fractions on the penny for each pair of jeans that use them. They are part of the esteemed supply chain and hard to change. But wouldn't they save millions more by not having them at all? Look at the business potential!
  2. It's a fashion statement
    • I've seen tons of jeans with metal rivet designs covering entire pockets and some going up and down the pant leg. Where is the originality in that? Get out of the ordinary box and look for creativity that doesn't fit in with the expectations of others... including your competitors.
  3. Reinforcement of weak points
    • Sure, you can try and argue that there is a risk of pants splitting, tearing, and fraying at these critical junctions. The fact thought is I have yet to experience anything beyond normal wear and year of wearing jeans, a hearty material in the first place. The right thing to do though in making a good product is to meet project needs and not overspend or over-deliver the original project scope.
If you know of a brand that consistently doesn't put metal grommets or rivets on them, please let me know below in the comments!!!
One of the toughest parts of my new job, or really any job, is talking a client out of something they want. Whether that is a process they don't want to change, a product they don't want to upgrade, or the color of a feature, when you know what you want, you want it! And sometimes it doesn't matter what it takes to get it. But other times? It does. What do you think about these probing questions?
  1. Why do you use it that way now?
    • Sometimes the answer is "because I've always done it this way" but whether the answer is a good one or not, it tells you where the stubbornness is coming from. Is it resistance to change that simply needs an emotional padding? Or is it a key factor in the efficiency of another integrated part of the business?
  2. How much more will you pay for that?
    • Put the ball back in their side of the court and say, "Sure, but it will cost you this much extra". If the want is important enough, no matter how "silly" you might feel it is, the truth may come out when you ask them to prioritize funding. Money can brings out the best (and worst) of people so let it do the talking!
  3. Given the options, what would you prefer?
    • Sometimes it is simply the Paradox of Choice that you need to control. Having too many options or too few options that lead to unhappy customers. Simplify! If you break it down and give only 2 or 3 choices, some of the natural stress is reduced. Then together you can look at the options in an objective way and make intelligent decisions that work for both sides.
VERY excited for football season this year and also pretty stoked to join my first money pool Fantasy Football league at work. Our draft party was Tuesday and was loads of fun mixed with stress. Next month my team has our quarterly summit and the team collaboration in planning events is really similar. These events are meant to be team-building activities whether you are life-long friends or just a group of people that just met. How else can you cram that many people in the same room towards the same goal?
  1. Common passion
    • Football fans may have loyalty to teams or players, but at the heart of it they just love watching the game. Team members may have various experience levels and motivations but everyone does want to do their jobs better. Whether that means a happier customer, a bigger paycheck, or self gratification these summit gatherings are great venues for learning!
  2. Friendly competition
    • Is your star player hurt this week? Is your quarterback not hitting his numbers? Even with a low scoring game, did you still beat your weekly competitor? Strengths and weaknesses of each person come alive but there are never hurt feelings in a game of fantasy football. At business summits, everyone is in the same room so there is no fingers pointed or negative lessons. Instead there is a focus on setting a good example, running through simulations, and brainstorming. Everyone contributes and everyone wins!
  3. Good food
    • I don't care who you are, free food is a instant magnet. If you have that pizza smell wafting through the halls, the people will come. Filling tummies always makes people happy and amiable and so whether you are yelling at a TV or brainstorming as a team, the added element of food will encourage attendance and involvement.
Go Broncos! (and now also BG QB Aaron Rogers)
The past two weekends have been filled with nostalgia and reminiscing at my High School Reunion events and I must say it was an adventure learning about each other again. There are so many things that don't matter as kids that make up who you are now. New things you have in common and new things that grow you apart from each other. The variations were amazing to see. Some people turn out exactly as you expect and others went in a completely opposite direction. By only having two data points (with occasional impersonal facebook posts in between) 10-years apart, what can we learn from each other at these snapshots?
  1. Your Comfort Zone
    • I was amazed how many people return to their home town. They leave for a variety of reasons but the place you know best and feel most in control might just always be the place you grew up. I'm not one of those people, but I think it tells you about how fast people adapt to change. How fast can you trust new relationships and build new daily routines? But even if your zip code stays the same, people can stretch themselves in different ways.
  2. Comfortable with Your Status
    • My limited experience with these reunions is that they are in large part about measuring up and showing how well you doing. You have to be confident in yourself almost to a fault to feel "good enough" and show your face to old peers. The status quo may have changed but new opinions, stereotypes, and egos form very quickly. Are they even still your peers? Some people have taken such different paths to happiness you can't fairly judge.
  3. Your Own Comfortable Shoes
    • Hey, there is always the 20-year reunion, right? A lot of life happens in-between so even if you were jealous, impressed, deflated, or proud you now have another 10 years to make changes. It gives you a chance to look at yourself and your dreams and get re-energized. I mean, you did just face your high school friends so you can take on any thing now! So don't put yourself if their shoes; put on your own and go on another adventure!
Okay? The honest part? I didn't go. I didn't go to the planned events and instead did a Girl Scout Troop reunion. Even doing what I love with the smaller group, I still felt like I got a full dose of all of this. What happened at your high school reunion?
I took on an ambitious project this summer and maybe I should have taken my own mascara advice here, but it is taking a lot more work (read time and money) than anticipated doing it all by myself so far. But in building a deck, I uncovered a 5-year old (or more) glove! No body attached as far as can tell, but it wasn't fun pulling it out of my post hole.
Buried old leather glove... that wasn't mine
Surprises like these definitely give us a new perspective on our surroundings! We start looking at every detail like a paranoid Sherlock Holmes or Adrian Monk. I don't think this new fear gives us heightened senses but the following reactions might give us insight into ourselves and how we deal with tough situations anywhere!
  1. Slow down
    • Now more aware, we become cautious and move slower. Whether we saw a spider, hear a noise downstairs, or got close to missing a finger on the saw it boils your blood and puts you on alert. It helps us realize that sometimes getting things done right is better than getting things done on time.
  2. Question everything
    • All of a sudden ordinary things take on abnormal forms (i.e. "that rock... it kind of looks finger-shaped...). After closer inspection of course, it is just a rock but you had your doubts! Why do we become so skeptical about everything? By making less assumptions and reexamining the simple things we can become more receptive to change and avoid small surprises in the future.
  3. Feel thankful
    • When you are faced with the possibility of worst case, you rethink your actual situation and feel relieved that it is the way it is. Whether good karma or something else, you stop taking things for granted and that awareness makes you kinder to those around you. Acknowledging the work of others will always be appreciated!
As we get older, wiser and more experienced, we often fall into a comfort zone. How can we avoid this monotonous routine in which we forget how to think outside the box? Find something that makes you marvel in wonder. It may seem silly, but I love looking out the plane window at the twinkling lights and bustling people below. It makes me feel small and yet significant in that I am part of some great intricate society. Here is why I think finding something wonderful is healthy to experience on a regular basis.
  1. Acknowledge the Unknown
    • When you wonder at how something is made, how something is done, or how something is connected, it means you admit to not knowing something. You become curious and that emotion keeps us young, inquisitive, and insightful. The moment you don't jump to conclusions, apply age-old logic, or make assumptions you open your mind to new possibilities. It challenges you to stay creative and learn new things and stay ahead of the competition.
  2. Remember the Little Things
    • Sometimes we can overlook what happens around us when we are focused on our own paths. Change can be big or small and if we crouch down to watch an ant or smell a tree we realize how much effort it takes to make something so simple work. Enjoying our favorite things like a kid again reminds you why you work so hard and will strengthen your enthusiasm.
  3. Think of Others
    • When you look at something else with open eyes, you lose sight of yourself a bit. Either putting yourself into someone else's shoes or imagining life from an alien's view, you quickly realize that you are only one small cog in the working world. Your efforts, accomplishments, and memories become after thoughts to history. How can you as a single spec possibly influence anything? I think you can, but this perspective enables that possibility.
Wondering at things smaller than you, bigger than you, and unknown to you is something I think everyone should practice regularly to stay rejuvenated. What do you do where you loose yourself a bit? Hike a mountain? Swim underwater? Meditate?
People deal with criticism in many different ways. Hearing negative things about you whether it is the hard truth or just plain mean is hard to do. I mean, ignoring it, responding, or redirecting it? Sure you can learn from it, stay positive, and return the favor but nothing seems like a perfect way to handle negativity and move on. Take for example these classic approaches from one of America's favorite TV Shows, The Big Bang Theory:
  1. Focusing on others
    • Howard and Bernadette are always pointing the blame. You think I did this? Well you did that! Why aren't you helping? It's not that you think you are perfect, you just know the truth that no one is perfect! If you bring other people down, they will stop looking out for you and might even start saying things behind your back.
  2. Focusing on yourself
    • A little self-centered and self-blaming are Penny and Leonard. They always are worrying about what others think of them, playing the what if game, and. Sometimes it is asking for advice and others it is leaning heavily on a shoulder to cry on. People can usually only handle listening to you talk about yourself for so long before they want you to reciprocate and listen as part of the conversation. Communication is two ways!
  3. Focusing on stuff
    • A new game? Your favorite seat? A particular food? Sounds like Sheldon and Rajesh. Inanimate objects might not be able to talk back and defend themselves from your blame misdirection, but that doesn't make it any better! It turns into a dependency on things and routines that may not be healthy.
Are you guilty of using one of these methods heavily? Maybe rethink how you deal with the negativity from others and try not to be one of these characters.
Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys?
by: Billy Crystal

I just finished listening to Billy Crystal's autobiography at 65 years old and whether a fan of his comedy or not, I enjoyed his book mainly because of how it made me look at my own life. Am I making choices that I will regret later in life? Am I setting long term goals that I can achieve? I took away three big ideas from listening to Billy Crystal talk about himself, some chapters even in front of a live audience:
  1. You don't find real meaning by waiting for someone to give it to you
    • Billy shares the secret of the revelation given to him at his Bar Mitzvah... and things aren't what they seem at face value. People will tell you what they think you should think, how you should act, and how you should feel. If you wait for someone else to determine that for you, you might not get the answer you wanted. Which means, you should just define things for yourself from the beginning!
  2. Death is scary but that means you should talk about it
    • Whether you like it or not, as you get older your friends and family pass away. And it hurts! The fact is everyone is getting older every day and you will never be ready when it is time to say goodbye. Billy tells you to celebrate your birthday every year and even though planning your own demise is strange, just remember to tell your loved ones how you feel as often as possible.
  3. Happiness is not only skin deep
    • Billy loves his family, baseball, and his comedic career of stand-up and movies. You could tell he was happy not because of the fame and fortune, but because he loved doing it and in turn had loving support of friends and family. Overall, Billy's life seems full of good choices and few regrets and I started to admire him for it... until I realized that, well, if I was going to write my own autobiography, I'd want people to remember me that way too: for all the good times. :-) And why not?!
I rented this quick listen audiobook from my local library (via Overdrive). Have you read any good books lately?

Over the past month I have flown over the Rocky Mountains several times and every time I watch the white peaks roll by with silent awe. They stand so resilient against the harsh climate. The tops of them are always white and you can see how the heavy snow sags on one side from the high winds. The paths of avalanches are etched in steep patterns down the sides. Even seeing the mountains from above they seem tall. These mountains from this view are my inspiration this week. They are like corporations and that brands and values rarely change by individual efforts. How do companies stay so resilient through internal and external change?
  1. They make tough decisions
    • They have seen good times and bad times, given winning pitches and failures. Their experience leads them in their future decisions. They will never admit to having all the answers but they will always have a plan on how to tackle them. From the top, mountains may direct snowfall down a certain crevasse and it gathers speed on its way down. Once a decision that big starts, you can't second guess it and change the avalanche at the bottom. Mountains don't change their minds and neither can companies when there are that many hands involved.
  2. Together they are strong
    • The Rocky Mountains are our entertainment, our water source, and our Westward compass. Much of our lives rely upon them and it forms every stone and snowflake into the skyline just like the efforts of every employee help shape the continuous growth. And even avalanches and rock slides don't alter the landscape much.
  3. They keep in mind the long term
    • Everything makes sense from above because you can see so far in all directions. You can see the next thunderstorm rolling in. You can see lines that purposefully separate each of the land types. You can see the flow of water like a flowchart. From this perspective, long term intentions not only take precedence but mask some short term oversights. R&D release paths and industry trends are easier to plan and manage if you can see the big picture. 
Rocky Mountains from the plane

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard
by Dan Heath and Chip Heath

One of my favorite quotes about change is:
“People don't resist change. They resist being changed.” ― Peter M. Senge
This quote rang true in this book in the way it dissects the way people react to change. The Heath brothers break down our self control into two parts: the rider and the elephant (Haidt) in which the Rider holds the reigns and is the leader... unless the stronger Elephant is distracted by something shiny. Thus, to be successful in influencing change in yourself or others you need to learn how to both direct the rider and motivate the elephant in addition to the basic path to reach your long term goals.

There are nine points made in this book, but my favorite three are:

  1. Follow the Bright Spots
    • Honestly, this is a lesson that I didn't implement early on in my career as a program manager. It is easy to listen to the "squeeky wheel" and try to get the nay-sayers on board with everyone else. I wanted a common starting point so we could move as a unit toward software adoption. Instead Switch showed me how to focus on the bright spots, the places your change IS working, the people that already successfully use and advocate for your idea. Ask: how did they get there? What part of the process have you overlooked that is key to adoption? Find what works for the rider and copy and paste!
  2. Shrink the Change
    • If you want to lose 20 pounds, how are you going to do that? Baby steps broken down to such a level of simplicity that it is hard NOT to do things differently. Start by saying no to donuts unless you go to the store and buy them yourself (not free Friday breakroom ones). Start by just carrying the pedometer every day. Don't say no sweets. Don't count calories. A simple checklist (see The Checklist Manifesto review coming soon) can help you realize your goals little by little. As the Heath brothers' say, break it down until it no longer spooks the elephant off course.
  3. Find the Feeling
    • I'm an analytical person and work with technical engineers on a regular basis so even though I know this technique, it still surprises me how influential it is. I am one that truly believes in the power of statistics and examples to sway my audience. The tough truth is that the elephant is motivated by many things and if you can understand how your target audience unintentionally reacts to things you can design ways around it.

One of the reasons I loved this book was because there were so many examples and stories. It talked about the size of popcorn buckets and weight loss, colored vests to prevent medication mistakes, and maps in local food donation drives. A recommended read!



Everyone has been there. The Internet goes down. Your unsaved work is lost. The application isn't syncing or says it is incompatible. Any number of technical issues come up and if you can't fix them yourself, then it quickly becomes a crisis that involves calling technical support. No one likes it, it is true. So how can you influence getting your issue ticket resolved faster? Try these 4 tips:
  1. Take screenshots
    • Document it if you can! If your issue is escalated from one technician to another, most likely your case has notes attached to it that explain what happened. If you are lucky enough to have online submissions, do some of that leg work yourself. Explain exactly what happened. Did the error pop up 5 seconds after you clicked the link? Before or after the Java loading screen? Did it give you a specific error code message? Take pictures using the PrtScn button and you will help the smart ones understand the problem that much quicker.
  2. Rate the priority truthfully
    • Don't lie. Really. A P1 issue means everything is down for everyone so don't label your issue at this level until it truly is the case. Even if you think you will get a response quicker (which may or may not be true...) when they downgrade that priority level for you, you actually go backwards in the process and it will take longer to get the right person with the right skills to help you. Most companies describe exactly what a "Priority Level 3" vs. "Priority Level 4" is and so choose the appropriate one and you will not get hassled by queue lines.
  3. Pause (maybe even count to 5)
    • I know patience is the last thing you have when dealing with a technical issue, but don't forget to breathe. Let the technician ask his questions, answer them, and wait for the next one. Wait longer... There will be a lengthy time in between because (see #1) they are documenting what is said. Don't feel like every silence means you need to continue talking with more detail or share your emotional turmoil. Let them guide the conversation because, well, they are the experts, otherwise you wouldn't have called them in the first place.
  4. Follow up
    • One thing that you can do proactively is to call and ask about the status of the case. There is no harm is asking what the latest step has been and when it was done. Your call will likely be noted and as long as you aren't recounting your issue every time it can show that you are willing to be available for follow up questions if needed. Know the difference between friendly reminders and pesky nagging and don't do it too frequently.

I hope these tips help! Let me know if you have had a recent positive tech support experience and what you think made the difference. Do you think your attitude affected how soon your issue was resolved?
Even if you are only getting updates from the Daily Google Doodle, you know that the World Cup 2014 (soccer) is in full swing. It is the biggest sport in the world but I can't help but say that I still prefer American football and am impatiently waiting for September kickoffs. I heard one commentator on the radio say something along the lines of one has violence on the field and the other has it in the stadium. I have to agree... but do you? What else does your sports watching habit say about what kind of person you are to work with?
  1. Team player
    • All soccer players practice the same basic skills: kick the ball. Defense, offense, even goalie requires ball control with your feet. In football, the quarterback throws, defense block, receivers catch, and kickers well, kick. There are very different skills that don't translate as easily from one position to the other. On a team, do you prefer to all have the same skills working toward the same goal, or do you prefer to have a team where everyone relies on one another for different specializations?rec
  2. Points
    • Soccer is simple: if the ball goes in the goal (by any player) it scores one point. Football is different depending on what side of the field you are on, if you are kicking or running, and what happened the previous play (i.e. "going for 2"). Having multiple types of goals with various values may be harder for your team to work together towards and multitask to meet deadlines but the higher scoring games means things can change at any moment. In soccer, a goal is a goal and everyone knows when to cheer.
  3. Fandom
    • I'm not going to say that soccer is more exotic but there are exponentially more countries that play the sport. They all speak their own languages, have their own weather patterns, cultures and tactics. And through it all the game doesn't change at all. Fans can root for their country with a whole different level of fierceness, passion, and national pride and it shows. Football fans might dress up crazy but players change hands in the draft, play fantasy versions, and move from city to city. Are you in it to win it in the short term or are you a long-term pension earner?

And no matter which game you watch, you can complain about the refs, right? ;-) Safety and rules of the game come first! Go USA!
Maybe it is strange finding INspiration in mascara but honestly it can come from anywhere when you aren't looking! Putting on mascara is the final touch to getting ready for the day and the attention it draws to my blue eyes can be transformational. When working a project, transforming something old into something new requires a bit of flair sometimes too.
  1. Darker than expected
    • Eye lashes as not naturally black on most women. The color varies just as much as our hair colors with various shades of blonde and brown. Mascara is meant to draw attention to the eyes and is darker than normal. How does this related to projects? When a project goes "live", we need to set expectations that it might require putting in more than 8 hours in a day. It means burning the midnight oil and working long into the dark of night to ensure the live environment matches the staging environment. It doesn't mean doing this for months leading up to the project end, but timing the few days leading up to go-live to coincide with people's schedules will help ensure that when you need just one more hour, someone is there to provide that needed fix.
  2. Longer than expected
    • It is a rare but ugly truth that I have seen more deadlines missed than achieved early or on time. Pressure from both sides of the coin will drive you to quote timelines closer than realistic. Don't give in! Be realistic in setting boundaries and deadlines and add length when needed, just like the mascara. Everyone knows the difference in meeting and exceeding expectations of your manager and your client. Use a little mascara magic to stretch your project longer so that you don't leave everyone hanging onto every fleeting second.
  3. Fuller than expected
    • Whenever people are involved in projects, there is a lot of unknown risk. People get sick, lack the experience, or flat out leave the project. Mascara brings to life the little hairs that make up a full eyelash, plumping up all of the invisible hairs in a way that makes you realize how many more influential pieces there are. Your project requires a fuller staff than you might expect too. Sometimes you don't even know about approvals, compatibilities, or extra hands needed until after the project is in full swing. Do your research and apply a little motivation to bring those necessary pieces to light!

All of this is true... in mediation. Don't use these techniques to exaggerated levels, but do use them to stick to your guns and show the face value of the project for what it is really worth. Every deliverable takes time and energy to make happen so do what you can to ensure its success and apply a little mascara when necessary. You will look good doing it too. ;-)
Are you a wino? Or maybe just appreciate the finer things in life? After spending the last few months in Sonoma wine country, I probably don't know any more about wine now than I did before my trip but I can tell you that I have enjoyed the occasional glass in the evening after a long day on-site with clients. Red or white? I really enjoy both but I've found that my choice could be used as a telling sign of how I feel the day went. Here is what my glass of wine says about me and my day, would you agree?
  1. Temperature
    • Red is usually served at room temperature and white is typically chilled. Your surroundings may have an impact on your choice as summer time and the hot outdoors warrants a cooler drink but I think it says more about your heart. Am I feeling the strain of the day in which my heart is beating fast? Then I choose a red that matches. Whether flush with love or anger, red appeals to my drive to keep things going and see where it leads me. Do I feel in control and gently relaxing in the calm before the storm? Than white it is and the cool liquid matches my cool and collected attitude.
  2. Color
    • If you want to hear me talk, I think you will probably get more out of me if I am drinking a red. The white is transparent meaning I am reflecting inward on how things went during the day and I don't feel confused. When I choose a red wine, I feel stimulated by conversation whether I'm the one spilling the beans or am all ears about your latest adventure. Red makes me want to share in a mutual experience which could be to troubleshoot the problems of the day or escape from my hardships and listen to someone else's for a while.
  3. Fruit
    • There are lots of sophisticated words that can be used to describe how a wine tastes, but I think the fruity flavors are the most distinct. The red usually have hints of plum, cherry, or heavy oak whereas whites have flavors of peaches, lemons, or young flowers. When I feel like the decadent flavors of the reds, I want to enjoy life fully and explore every nook and cranny. When I enjoy the light, puckered or sweet flavors of white, I may feel obliged to dismiss the needless details.

Do these red versus white describe your feelings and composure when drinking wine too? Let me know what you experience emotionally when choosing and drinking a drink to end the day with. And cheers!

I love my job. One reason is getting to be the driving force behind a group's change. You get to know them, you work with them, introduce something new, and turn their old habits into new ones. I think partly why these large changes are so successful is our commitment to the people. And this commitment can only be reached face-to-face. It makes a huge difference to watch their body language, understand their frustrations, and share their smiles of accomplishment. The constant interactions and connections that you make every day while on-site with a client isn't automatic though and if your presence is the one that can make or break the group's change, I have a few tips that can improve your chances of consulting success.
  1. Write down everything
    • Your clients can not only see your facial expressions, but are also watching your actions. They know if you wrote down their suggestion because they either see you jot in your notebook or just take a mental note. Don't underestimate the power of writing things down. Not only will it help you remember it, but your client will gain confidence in you because they see that their thoughts matter. They know you listened because you wrote down their thoughts. It makes them feel like you care!
  2. Ask for local advice
    • If you are on site with a client, you probably are out of town and unfamiliar with the area. Ask the locals for their favorite coffee or food spots, best driving routes, and recommendations on tourist locations worth visiting. This will allow them to share their expertise with you and they feel valuable. Don't underestimate the power of letting your client share some personal experiences. Any discussions about extracurricular activities will boost their self confidence to make dealing with the tough business topics easier.
  3. Always be approachable
    • Sometimes you hover over their shoulder watching what they are doing like a boss. Sometimes you are hunched over with a technical issues at your laptop in the corner. Other times you may be in tense conversations with management over contract costs. In all situations, you must remember that at any time a worker may have a question. They should never have to feel uneasy or hesitant in asking. Therefore, keeping good posture and a neutral expression is important. It may require conscious focus on your part at first but it will make a big difference up and down the chain of command in the long run.
Have you been through an experience in which seeing the other person in-person made all the difference? What was the determining factor that made you walk away afterwards feeling cared for? Was it technical support at Geek Squad versus phone support of Microsoft? Was it having your quarterly review at company headquarters instead of an email? Share what made the real difference!
I've started traveling to client sites on a regular basis which means simultaneous more face time and less face time, one with clients and the other with family. It is an interesting give and take which makes the "work-life balance" definition even more skewed. I love the traveling honestly and can easily switch between "work hard hotel mode" and "lazy at home mode". Others may have more difficulty so here are some of my mental tricks that might help you if you too travel frequently for business.
  1. Make home, home only
    • I know the first thing you want to do when you get home is relax, but before you do anything else, you should unpack and put away the suitcase. If you leave out the packed clothes and the suitcase, you and your family will see it and be reminded of how often you are gone. You don't want to have one foot out the door when you are home.
  2. You are on their time
    • In the airport and on the plane, you do not have control over late passengers, the weather, or mechanically delayed flights. The moment I begin the traveling, I go into a zen state in which I practice believing that no matter what happens I don't care and will wait until the traveling is done when I can control my own time again. Remember it is always better to have arrived late than not at all.
  3. Savor the alone time
    • Hotel rooms can be awkward and quiet, and planes can be stuffy and cramped, but the uncomfortable time you spend in these places is time you are not somewhere else (like with your family). Splurg on the glass of wine, watch that chick flick, take a nap. Do the "me things" in the small spaces you can so when you are home you can dedicate yourself 100% to the people that miss you.



This blog post? Written on my flight home on Southwest. Sharing my thoughts on this blog with you is how I enjoy spending my personal time. I hope it helps give you some insight into how you can mentally relax a bit more when those business trips call you away.
I was given some of the best feedback on my speaking and presentation skills last week during a training program. The feedback giver was able to put into words how the audience perceived me, my ability to react to participant on the fly, and my manner as the expert in the room. I was happy to learn that the things my intentions were coming across! Apparently I am a compassionate and relatable teacher; I probably got that from my Girl Scout days.


If you are like me, you've been given good feedback and bad feedback. Some people never want to hurt your feelings and only say "you did great". Others go into rants because they want you to perform just like them. How can you improve your own feedback giving skills? Here are some ideas:
  1. Stay objective
    • The number one mistake I've witnessed in feedback givers is that they are too specific to the situation at hand. They say things like "pause here", "change this word here", or "don't forget to say this on this slide". These small suggestions are so trivial that they aren't helpful. Even if I remember those suggestions, it will probably throw off my natural cadence of speaking. Instead, stay objective and suggest "pausing more", "stay in present tense", and "go into more detail on this important topic". These suggestions don't get caught in the details and allow the individual's own skills to shine through.
  2. Applicable to all situations
    • Feedback is only as good as its usefulness to apply to your next speech. Just like the specific feedback examples above, poignant improvements are only helpful if you are presenting that exact same speech again with the exact same environment. Instead, keep your feedback related to personality (how you smile, how much you ask the audience for questions, how fast you speak) and poise. These tips can help someone become a better and well-rounded speaker no matter who the audience or what the topic.
  3. Stay positive
    • No one wants a lecture in how they could do better after a stressful experience speaking in front of a crowd. Toastmasters teaches the sandwich method (one good thing, followed by one improvement, followed by a second good thing) but I think this can be taken a step further. If you are recommending someone speaks louder, give an example when the person did project their voice well during the speech. This constructive criticism all of a sudden seems obtainable because it turns a "start doing this" into a "do this more" which doesn't sound negative at all!
I believe that honesty is always the best policy, especially on feedback. It is the only way you can learn and become better! What do you think? Any feedback on my blog posts? :-)
I think I am good writer. People have said nice things about my blog posts, my book-in-progress, and my countless documents I've written for business processes. I enjoy writing; I volunteer to write for others; and I do a lot of writing. Does that make me an expert? Does that make me good at it? What is your top one or two skills? Unfortunately, it just might not be what you think it is. Here are some staggering statistics that might make you think otherwise. (Source)
  • 78% of people consider themselves to be above average performers
  • 96% of people think they have an above average sense of humor
  • 84% of people think they have an above average ability to get along with others
What does this mean? That your perceptions may be off. What others perceive may actually be aligned with their own activities and goals. How can you weed out the bullshit and narrow down your real strengths from your colleagues' strengths? These ideas might help you:
  1. Identify the Honest Answers
    • If asked directly if a person thinks you did a good job, you will almost always get a positive answer because no one wants to admit you did a poor job to your face. Look for the compliments that are paired with constructive criticism. Don't get defensive but instead be receptive; realize that if someone goes out of their way to give advice, it may be because they think you will benefit from it. Great practice is giving two positives and one room for improvement using the sandwich method.
  2. Keep it Out of Context
    • Right after you do something is not the best time to receive feedback. We as humans love immediate gratification (sweets over exercise, lust over love, etc.) but those impulsive responses are probably not the most realistic perspectives. Give it some time and ask for opinions at the end of the day or even in a couple days. Don't wait too long though; we are busy people and might forget any specifics.
  3. Get Examples
    • Generic and general "good job" comments aren't helpful or truthful. If you receive one of these remarks, thank the giver and ask for a specific occurrence in which they based this on. Like the Toyota Five Why's Method, you need to dive down into the details to get the true meaning.
I probably must admit that I am not the funniest person in a room but I do like to laugh. Like my dad, I have a unique sense of humor that is lost on most. I will probably stick with writing and not the comical stories but rather the informative posts like this one.
Well that sucks. Not everything goes as you expect it will. Here is a classic "fix one thing, break another" story. I was fixing the lift support arms of my hatchback when... this happened:
The back window of my Hyundai hatchback.

Unfortunately, it's not what you think: the post did not go straight through the glass. The door, without the arm (poor and broken as it was) was better than nothing and the door simply fell and closed so hard that the glass shattered. I'm not kidding! This sort of thing happens in business too where in fixing or replacing something, another thing even more critical breaks. What can you do to avoid this and learn from my moronic mistake?

  1. Read the instructions
    • Seriously. The people who wrote them did for a reason. I know that something as simple as disconnecting one thing and plugging in another sounds simple enough for a monkey to do, but by skimming the safety measures you might learn a valuable step before it is too late.
  2. Have a buddy
    • On projects that have a lot of moving parts, it is nice to have someone at the very least watch what you are doing. They can warn you of mistakes before they happen, find that missing piece that you almost forgot about, and give you that third hand when you need it during multitasking situations. If you've ever put together Ikea furniture, you know what I'm talking about.
  3. What if's
    • Personally, I hate the "what if" game; I think it is negative and unnecessary and unhealthy worrying. However, it can help you be prepared for the worst. Sometimes a quick consideration of what other things can be affected can increase your awareness of your surroundings and one of those "other things" that can get broken as a result of your "fix". Definitely use this technique in moderation though!
Happily, car insurance saved the day and it didn't take long to replace my car window. It still took a few days (and some snow) before it was fixed though. What a stressful situation! Just like having your servers go down or missing a marketing banner at a conference, it isn't fun to have to deal with the problem for a week until it can be fixed. Much better to avoid the issue all together!
Good as new!

I hope you enjoyed reading my other posts about my challenges of going through unemployment in Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. Finally, Part 4 is the logistics of what I did to find that next job.
  1. Schedule your day
    • When you have a job, do you feel tied down to your work with deadlines and meetings? Your calendar and the hour-long blocks of time on it structure your day. If you are your own boss (aka unemployed), stay on track by doing the same thing! Get the most out of Google Calendar and block out time to do important things and silly things. Below is a picture of an example of my weekly to-do list and you can see I even have cleaning the house on there! Every little thing that you do is an accomplishment, so cross it off like you deserve it!
  2. Network everywhere
    • And I mean everywhere. I'm not lying when I say I used 3 of my friends to connect me to the hiring department at a company through their significant other. It may seem weird and like you are "taking advantage" of your friends, family, or acquaintances but really everyone wants to help where they can! Ask if they know anyone! Tell everyone what you are looking for!
  3. Define success for yourself
    • Without a 6-month review cycle and bonuses to work towards, you might feel a wave of "what's the point" or "where am I going" during your job search. Do some soul searching and make it about you. Set 3-month and 6-month goals that are more than "get a new job". I began learning a new language, German. I am writing a book so I made goals about how many chapters I'd finish this month. Then, when another month comes and goes you won't feel so defeated.
Oh, and for heavensakes, get out of the house. Seriously. I loved living in my slippers 24/7 and not doing my hair every morning, but interviews are about your people skills and first impressions. Get out and talk to people and meet new people at least once a week. You don't want to forget how to hold a conversation during a lull in a phone interview. :-) I hope these tips and my experiences helped you understand how unemployment is. Best of luck!
My Week 9 To Do List

One of the main reasons job seeking when unemployed is so difficult is because it is hard to maintain a positive attitude. Every time a recruiter calls you have to respond in a cheery voice and describe all of the great attributes you have without any self doubt. Many times, the person on the other end, the recruiter, can influence your attitude by testing your patience, forcing you through tough Q&A, or not sharing your enthusiasm. I bet it would be hard to be a recruiter and be verbally excited every day, but that is part of that job; you ARE the first impression a job seeker has of your company. I've had some good, interesting, and bad experiences and I think they are worth sharing.
  1. No response
    • After an initial phone screen, sometimes you hear nothing. Seriously, it is the worst. When the same job posting is on a website for 5 months and you thought you were in the running, how often can you repeatedly follow up with a recruiter with no response before it is rude? Once, I got contacted 4 times by 4 different people at a single company about a single position and not one of them followed up a second time. Do I want to work in that disorganization? No. Another time I flat out called asking about the status of the position and finally got the "we decided to pursue other candidates" answer, but the closure was totally worth it. The "we decided to go in another direction" answer is a tough one because you rarely know why but it is better than nothing. Don't leave us hanging!!
  2. Conversationalist, or not
    • There are many types of recruiters. First are the "formal questions only" type. It is dry and you will get dry responses. I hate doing all of the talking because I want to learn about you as much as you want to learn about me! Two, the tactic of assessing what questions I ask is effective... as long as you have the answers. Third, talking with a recruiter that shows genuine excitement about finding a good fit will turn the interview into a friendly conversation. Thank you! My time and your time is valuable and we both want the same thing so why not talk about things we care about.
  3. Dangling carrot
    • What's hard is the "we should be opening up a position soon". Because my unemployment was around the holidays, I got postponed interviews and interesting stories that just dragged out for months. It is frustrating when I could start tomorrow. I know recruiters are trying to be encouraging but unless you get another contact to talk to, you need to move on. Circle back around in another month if you are still unemployed but don't let them control you with an endless waiting game!
In short, recruiters that are honest is refreshing during the interview process. They can read your reaction to a question and understand your thought process when explaining a scenario. These recruiters return your calls within a week (Hitachi Consulting), send company fact sheets before your next interview (DaVita), and tell you whether you will like the hiring manager or not (Charter). (Yes, I just name dropped). Even though they didn't hire me, these HR departments turned a headache into an enjoyable experience. (P.S. They should get a raise.) Keep reading for more advice about job hunting in Part 4!
    Dear Family and Friends,
    I know I haven't been around as much lately but the truth is it isn't because I don't want to be. Being unemployed is one of the hardest things I've been through and just answering the simple question of "what have you been up to?" or "how are you?" hurts. I don't want to bring you down, I don't want to be reminded of how much my life sucks (because it does, I won't lie), and I don't really have anything else to say. My days consist of job submissions and hope; that's it. I know you are my friends and you support me and want to be there for me but it is hard. So here are a few ideas that maybe can help us have fun together during this period of my life.
    1. Do activities that don't require talking
      • I don't want to hear about your day and you don't want to hear about mine. We can still enjoy each other's company even without the heart-to-heart talks. Sports are a great excuse to get hyped up about the game. Watching a movie is another great example. They allow me to escape emotionally to another world and that really is helpful at times.
    2. Offer to help
      • I never want to take advantage of our friendship for monetary gains and so asking for you to help is not something that I feel is okay. If you want, you can initiate that conversation and break that awkward silence if you really do have a connection that could help. But be advised, you may have a short "I don't want to talk about it" response, or a launch into a rant, so be prepared if you really do want to ask about the job hunt. 
    3. Just wait it out
      • We are still friends and me avoiding you has nothing to do with our friendship at all. I just need some space and will come back like a faithful puppy when it is over. You are the first person I will want to celebrate with!
    Thank you for understanding. This troubling time will pass and then we can go out for lunch, stay up late at parties, and share crazy stories about gym hotties or slow baristas. Keep reading by going to Part 3.
    It is finally here! I have a job! I start next week and I couldn't be happier to be contributing to society again. It wasn't easy and I'm sure I'm not the only person that has (or will have to) go through this. So I want to share my experience and write a few posts about what I went through and how I got through it. Being unemployed is exhausting on many levels: emotionally, professionally, physically, and personally, and the only way to survive it is to believe you are constantly on the cusp of that next great opportunity.

    A few facts:
    • 25 weeks without a job
    • 150 job applications
    • 14 networking events
    • 10 personal contacts
    • 4 career fairs
    • 17 phone interviews
    • 5 in-person interviews
    • 2 emotional breakdowns
    What can you gather from this? Three things:
    1. I have these numbers
      • I know what these numbers are. Period. That means I kept track of what I did for each of those 175 days. Writing down your accomplishments as you go is important! It helps you know when to remind that recruiter again or check that top 3 company career page again. In case you didn't know, in order to receive unemployment checks you do have to complete the minimum number of job submissions (for me it was 5) each week (and yes, I got audited and had to prove it).
    2. It is not easy
      • The hardest thing without a doubt is staying positive. I did go through tough money conversations, weight gain, avoiding old work friends, and more. Don't feel guilty for feeling however you do. I felt it was impossible to find energy or fully relax. I even tried to have fun by trying T'ai Chi (bucket list, check!). It is a constant roller coaster with interview invites and rejections. You need to force yourself into some sort of balance in which can reward yourself and manage yourself. Visit family and friends out of town that you wouldn't be able to otherwise. Sleep in and cry when you need it. Do whatever you want as long as your want to join the workforce again is the strongest desire and you actively work towards finding a new job all the time.
    3. Finding a job IS a job
      • You can definitely spend 40 hours a week applying to jobs. The truth is that you have nothing to show for it until it is all over. I didn't laze around "happily living off the government's dime". I bet people surf Facebook on the job more than I did the past few months. Because no one has a manager when unemployed, active job seekers actually have 2 jobs to do: strategize as the boss AND do the work like an individual contributor. Oh, and you also need to be your own HR department for benefits and job satisfaction (self motivation).
    For more on my story, check out Part 2, Part 3, and Part 4! I blog about what to do if you know someone unemployed, what I found entertaining about HR, and what I did to earn that next job. And my first post with my reaction that very first week is here. I hope my experience can help you if ever face the trials of unemployment.

    About Me



    So if you want to be happy at work like I am, then thanks for being a reader! I am a consultant that travels constantly and is always working with new people. I love what I do! I'm formally trained with an MBA and BS Engineering. At home and in my free time, I like to drink beer, travel, garden, read, hike with my dog, and play board games.

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