I was given some of the best feedback on my speaking and presentation skills last week during a training program. The feedback giver was able to put into words how the audience perceived me, my ability to react to participant on the fly, and my manner as the expert in the room. I was happy to learn that the things my intentions were coming across! Apparently I am a compassionate and relatable teacher; I probably got that from my Girl Scout days.


If you are like me, you've been given good feedback and bad feedback. Some people never want to hurt your feelings and only say "you did great". Others go into rants because they want you to perform just like them. How can you improve your own feedback giving skills? Here are some ideas:
  1. Stay objective
    • The number one mistake I've witnessed in feedback givers is that they are too specific to the situation at hand. They say things like "pause here", "change this word here", or "don't forget to say this on this slide". These small suggestions are so trivial that they aren't helpful. Even if I remember those suggestions, it will probably throw off my natural cadence of speaking. Instead, stay objective and suggest "pausing more", "stay in present tense", and "go into more detail on this important topic". These suggestions don't get caught in the details and allow the individual's own skills to shine through.
  2. Applicable to all situations
    • Feedback is only as good as its usefulness to apply to your next speech. Just like the specific feedback examples above, poignant improvements are only helpful if you are presenting that exact same speech again with the exact same environment. Instead, keep your feedback related to personality (how you smile, how much you ask the audience for questions, how fast you speak) and poise. These tips can help someone become a better and well-rounded speaker no matter who the audience or what the topic.
  3. Stay positive
    • No one wants a lecture in how they could do better after a stressful experience speaking in front of a crowd. Toastmasters teaches the sandwich method (one good thing, followed by one improvement, followed by a second good thing) but I think this can be taken a step further. If you are recommending someone speaks louder, give an example when the person did project their voice well during the speech. This constructive criticism all of a sudden seems obtainable because it turns a "start doing this" into a "do this more" which doesn't sound negative at all!
I believe that honesty is always the best policy, especially on feedback. It is the only way you can learn and become better! What do you think? Any feedback on my blog posts? :-)
I think I am good writer. People have said nice things about my blog posts, my book-in-progress, and my countless documents I've written for business processes. I enjoy writing; I volunteer to write for others; and I do a lot of writing. Does that make me an expert? Does that make me good at it? What is your top one or two skills? Unfortunately, it just might not be what you think it is. Here are some staggering statistics that might make you think otherwise. (Source)
  • 78% of people consider themselves to be above average performers
  • 96% of people think they have an above average sense of humor
  • 84% of people think they have an above average ability to get along with others
What does this mean? That your perceptions may be off. What others perceive may actually be aligned with their own activities and goals. How can you weed out the bullshit and narrow down your real strengths from your colleagues' strengths? These ideas might help you:
  1. Identify the Honest Answers
    • If asked directly if a person thinks you did a good job, you will almost always get a positive answer because no one wants to admit you did a poor job to your face. Look for the compliments that are paired with constructive criticism. Don't get defensive but instead be receptive; realize that if someone goes out of their way to give advice, it may be because they think you will benefit from it. Great practice is giving two positives and one room for improvement using the sandwich method.
  2. Keep it Out of Context
    • Right after you do something is not the best time to receive feedback. We as humans love immediate gratification (sweets over exercise, lust over love, etc.) but those impulsive responses are probably not the most realistic perspectives. Give it some time and ask for opinions at the end of the day or even in a couple days. Don't wait too long though; we are busy people and might forget any specifics.
  3. Get Examples
    • Generic and general "good job" comments aren't helpful or truthful. If you receive one of these remarks, thank the giver and ask for a specific occurrence in which they based this on. Like the Toyota Five Why's Method, you need to dive down into the details to get the true meaning.
I probably must admit that I am not the funniest person in a room but I do like to laugh. Like my dad, I have a unique sense of humor that is lost on most. I will probably stick with writing and not the comical stories but rather the informative posts like this one.

About Me



So if you want to be happy at work like I am, then thanks for being a reader! I am a consultant that travels constantly and is always working with new people. I love what I do! I'm formally trained with an MBA and BS Engineering. At home and in my free time, I like to drink beer, travel, garden, read, hike with my dog, and play board games.

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