Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
by Brené Brown

I loved this book which doesn't surprise me as I loved hearing Brené speak three years ago at a Denver Conference held by the Leadership Investment. Brené is a strong writer that draws conclusions from her research and then tests the theories in her own life and you can connect with her struggles, realizations, and emotions. I let myself take a lot of breaks reading/listening to this to think and apply her ideas to my own life and I must say that she challenged me indirectly. Here are my top three take-aways.

1. Overcoming the fear of disconnection
• If you know me in real life, I'm not afraid to ask questions, even in a room full of experts. In the first weeks at my new job, the product team of 30+ reviewed new features and I just raised my hand and asked a what if straight to the developer. That's me daring greatly, but I don't do that all the time and there are definitely times I worry about what other's think of me. Brené offers tips to stay real and accept our wholehearted selves.
2. Learning shame resilience
• Emotional hurt can be as painful as physical hurt and so we try to protect ourselves by putting up barriers. The problem is that these barriers keep us from the good things too. I looked at my instinctive reactions when someone is rude, combative, or upset and learned that I usually try to deflect. Maybe your vulnerability armor is different than mine, but learning to identify it is the first step to avoid putting up boundaries and instead embrace the opportunity to be vulnerable.
3. Being Wholeheartedness
• "Vulnerability is the last thing I want you to see in me, but the first thing I look for in you." I worry about having kids of my own or managing a team of my own but I have no doubt that both of those things will happen someday. I learned that I should say what I'm feeling more often. Saying it out loud is my challenge to being more honest with others. I think engineers have trouble admitting these so I use a very direct approach "You make me feel _____ right now." but it is better than nothing.