People deal with criticism in many different ways. Hearing negative things about you whether it is the hard truth or just plain mean is hard to do. I mean, ignoring it, responding, or redirecting it? Sure you can learn from it, stay positive, and return the favor but nothing seems like a perfect way to handle negativity and move on. Take for example these classic approaches from one of America's favorite TV Shows, The Big Bang Theory:
  1. Focusing on others
    • Howard and Bernadette are always pointing the blame. You think I did this? Well you did that! Why aren't you helping? It's not that you think you are perfect, you just know the truth that no one is perfect! If you bring other people down, they will stop looking out for you and might even start saying things behind your back.
  2. Focusing on yourself
    • A little self-centered and self-blaming are Penny and Leonard. They always are worrying about what others think of them, playing the what if game, and. Sometimes it is asking for advice and others it is leaning heavily on a shoulder to cry on. People can usually only handle listening to you talk about yourself for so long before they want you to reciprocate and listen as part of the conversation. Communication is two ways!
  3. Focusing on stuff
    • A new game? Your favorite seat? A particular food? Sounds like Sheldon and Rajesh. Inanimate objects might not be able to talk back and defend themselves from your blame misdirection, but that doesn't make it any better! It turns into a dependency on things and routines that may not be healthy.
Are you guilty of using one of these methods heavily? Maybe rethink how you deal with the negativity from others and try not to be one of these characters.
Still Foolin' 'Em: Where I've Been, Where I'm Going, and Where the Hell Are My Keys?
by: Billy Crystal

I just finished listening to Billy Crystal's autobiography at 65 years old and whether a fan of his comedy or not, I enjoyed his book mainly because of how it made me look at my own life. Am I making choices that I will regret later in life? Am I setting long term goals that I can achieve? I took away three big ideas from listening to Billy Crystal talk about himself, some chapters even in front of a live audience:
  1. You don't find real meaning by waiting for someone to give it to you
    • Billy shares the secret of the revelation given to him at his Bar Mitzvah... and things aren't what they seem at face value. People will tell you what they think you should think, how you should act, and how you should feel. If you wait for someone else to determine that for you, you might not get the answer you wanted. Which means, you should just define things for yourself from the beginning!
  2. Death is scary but that means you should talk about it
    • Whether you like it or not, as you get older your friends and family pass away. And it hurts! The fact is everyone is getting older every day and you will never be ready when it is time to say goodbye. Billy tells you to celebrate your birthday every year and even though planning your own demise is strange, just remember to tell your loved ones how you feel as often as possible.
  3. Happiness is not only skin deep
    • Billy loves his family, baseball, and his comedic career of stand-up and movies. You could tell he was happy not because of the fame and fortune, but because he loved doing it and in turn had loving support of friends and family. Overall, Billy's life seems full of good choices and few regrets and I started to admire him for it... until I realized that, well, if I was going to write my own autobiography, I'd want people to remember me that way too: for all the good times. :-) And why not?!
I rented this quick listen audiobook from my local library (via Overdrive). Have you read any good books lately?

Over the past month I have flown over the Rocky Mountains several times and every time I watch the white peaks roll by with silent awe. They stand so resilient against the harsh climate. The tops of them are always white and you can see how the heavy snow sags on one side from the high winds. The paths of avalanches are etched in steep patterns down the sides. Even seeing the mountains from above they seem tall. These mountains from this view are my inspiration this week. They are like corporations and that brands and values rarely change by individual efforts. How do companies stay so resilient through internal and external change?
  1. They make tough decisions
    • They have seen good times and bad times, given winning pitches and failures. Their experience leads them in their future decisions. They will never admit to having all the answers but they will always have a plan on how to tackle them. From the top, mountains may direct snowfall down a certain crevasse and it gathers speed on its way down. Once a decision that big starts, you can't second guess it and change the avalanche at the bottom. Mountains don't change their minds and neither can companies when there are that many hands involved.
  2. Together they are strong
    • The Rocky Mountains are our entertainment, our water source, and our Westward compass. Much of our lives rely upon them and it forms every stone and snowflake into the skyline just like the efforts of every employee help shape the continuous growth. And even avalanches and rock slides don't alter the landscape much.
  3. They keep in mind the long term
    • Everything makes sense from above because you can see so far in all directions. You can see the next thunderstorm rolling in. You can see lines that purposefully separate each of the land types. You can see the flow of water like a flowchart. From this perspective, long term intentions not only take precedence but mask some short term oversights. R&D release paths and industry trends are easier to plan and manage if you can see the big picture. 
Rocky Mountains from the plane

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard
by Dan Heath and Chip Heath

One of my favorite quotes about change is:
“People don't resist change. They resist being changed.” ― Peter M. Senge
This quote rang true in this book in the way it dissects the way people react to change. The Heath brothers break down our self control into two parts: the rider and the elephant (Haidt) in which the Rider holds the reigns and is the leader... unless the stronger Elephant is distracted by something shiny. Thus, to be successful in influencing change in yourself or others you need to learn how to both direct the rider and motivate the elephant in addition to the basic path to reach your long term goals.

There are nine points made in this book, but my favorite three are:

  1. Follow the Bright Spots
    • Honestly, this is a lesson that I didn't implement early on in my career as a program manager. It is easy to listen to the "squeeky wheel" and try to get the nay-sayers on board with everyone else. I wanted a common starting point so we could move as a unit toward software adoption. Instead Switch showed me how to focus on the bright spots, the places your change IS working, the people that already successfully use and advocate for your idea. Ask: how did they get there? What part of the process have you overlooked that is key to adoption? Find what works for the rider and copy and paste!
  2. Shrink the Change
    • If you want to lose 20 pounds, how are you going to do that? Baby steps broken down to such a level of simplicity that it is hard NOT to do things differently. Start by saying no to donuts unless you go to the store and buy them yourself (not free Friday breakroom ones). Start by just carrying the pedometer every day. Don't say no sweets. Don't count calories. A simple checklist (see The Checklist Manifesto review coming soon) can help you realize your goals little by little. As the Heath brothers' say, break it down until it no longer spooks the elephant off course.
  3. Find the Feeling
    • I'm an analytical person and work with technical engineers on a regular basis so even though I know this technique, it still surprises me how influential it is. I am one that truly believes in the power of statistics and examples to sway my audience. The tough truth is that the elephant is motivated by many things and if you can understand how your target audience unintentionally reacts to things you can design ways around it.

One of the reasons I loved this book was because there were so many examples and stories. It talked about the size of popcorn buckets and weight loss, colored vests to prevent medication mistakes, and maps in local food donation drives. A recommended read!



Everyone has been there. The Internet goes down. Your unsaved work is lost. The application isn't syncing or says it is incompatible. Any number of technical issues come up and if you can't fix them yourself, then it quickly becomes a crisis that involves calling technical support. No one likes it, it is true. So how can you influence getting your issue ticket resolved faster? Try these 4 tips:
  1. Take screenshots
    • Document it if you can! If your issue is escalated from one technician to another, most likely your case has notes attached to it that explain what happened. If you are lucky enough to have online submissions, do some of that leg work yourself. Explain exactly what happened. Did the error pop up 5 seconds after you clicked the link? Before or after the Java loading screen? Did it give you a specific error code message? Take pictures using the PrtScn button and you will help the smart ones understand the problem that much quicker.
  2. Rate the priority truthfully
    • Don't lie. Really. A P1 issue means everything is down for everyone so don't label your issue at this level until it truly is the case. Even if you think you will get a response quicker (which may or may not be true...) when they downgrade that priority level for you, you actually go backwards in the process and it will take longer to get the right person with the right skills to help you. Most companies describe exactly what a "Priority Level 3" vs. "Priority Level 4" is and so choose the appropriate one and you will not get hassled by queue lines.
  3. Pause (maybe even count to 5)
    • I know patience is the last thing you have when dealing with a technical issue, but don't forget to breathe. Let the technician ask his questions, answer them, and wait for the next one. Wait longer... There will be a lengthy time in between because (see #1) they are documenting what is said. Don't feel like every silence means you need to continue talking with more detail or share your emotional turmoil. Let them guide the conversation because, well, they are the experts, otherwise you wouldn't have called them in the first place.
  4. Follow up
    • One thing that you can do proactively is to call and ask about the status of the case. There is no harm is asking what the latest step has been and when it was done. Your call will likely be noted and as long as you aren't recounting your issue every time it can show that you are willing to be available for follow up questions if needed. Know the difference between friendly reminders and pesky nagging and don't do it too frequently.

I hope these tips help! Let me know if you have had a recent positive tech support experience and what you think made the difference. Do you think your attitude affected how soon your issue was resolved?
Even if you are only getting updates from the Daily Google Doodle, you know that the World Cup 2014 (soccer) is in full swing. It is the biggest sport in the world but I can't help but say that I still prefer American football and am impatiently waiting for September kickoffs. I heard one commentator on the radio say something along the lines of one has violence on the field and the other has it in the stadium. I have to agree... but do you? What else does your sports watching habit say about what kind of person you are to work with?
  1. Team player
    • All soccer players practice the same basic skills: kick the ball. Defense, offense, even goalie requires ball control with your feet. In football, the quarterback throws, defense block, receivers catch, and kickers well, kick. There are very different skills that don't translate as easily from one position to the other. On a team, do you prefer to all have the same skills working toward the same goal, or do you prefer to have a team where everyone relies on one another for different specializations?rec
  2. Points
    • Soccer is simple: if the ball goes in the goal (by any player) it scores one point. Football is different depending on what side of the field you are on, if you are kicking or running, and what happened the previous play (i.e. "going for 2"). Having multiple types of goals with various values may be harder for your team to work together towards and multitask to meet deadlines but the higher scoring games means things can change at any moment. In soccer, a goal is a goal and everyone knows when to cheer.
  3. Fandom
    • I'm not going to say that soccer is more exotic but there are exponentially more countries that play the sport. They all speak their own languages, have their own weather patterns, cultures and tactics. And through it all the game doesn't change at all. Fans can root for their country with a whole different level of fierceness, passion, and national pride and it shows. Football fans might dress up crazy but players change hands in the draft, play fantasy versions, and move from city to city. Are you in it to win it in the short term or are you a long-term pension earner?

And no matter which game you watch, you can complain about the refs, right? ;-) Safety and rules of the game come first! Go USA!

About Me



So if you want to be happy at work like I am, then thanks for being a reader! I am a consultant that travels constantly and is always working with new people. I love what I do! I'm formally trained with an MBA and BS Engineering. At home and in my free time, I like to drink beer, travel, garden, read, hike with my dog, and play board games.

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