There are a lot of star quarterbacks hurt this football season already: Luck, Roethlisberger, Romo. Here's to hoping that they get well soon! What I think is special about football teams is that these injured players are always on the sideline. They don't miss a game, stay at home, or become a lesser part of the team. It makes me think of my own two teammates that are out on maternity leave. They're promising to return to the game as valuable players again too! Here's some thoughts I have on why we should keep the sidelined, benched players.

1. Morale
• It's tough enough to not have them playing next to you, don't ship them off entirely! Changing the game can have emotional consequences so keep the team spirit together by keeping the benched players engaged. Make sure to continue including them in your team email announcements and locker room pep talks and keep them as active as possible.
2. External perspective
• You can still learn a lot by watching instead of doing. You can see the blitz coming in a whole new way. You can watch the competitor's coach making calls on the sideline. You can think about "what would I do" in a whole new way. For maternity leave, you demonstrate work-life balance and that you can (and should) take time off for your family and it doesn't ruin the football season (or financial quarter).
3. Relevant related skills
• Even if you aren't actively engaged in the daily grind, there are ways to stay relevant in the industry. Instead of lifting weights or going on business trips you might have more time to attend conferences or read. You know you're coming back soon so use your time wisely and brush up on industry standards or competitor tricks of the trade.

The past few years I've tackled many home improvement projects such as a new furniture, painting, building a deck, installing crown molding, and right now it's building a garden bed. Many of these projects are definitely easier if you have the right tools. (I made a lot of trips to Home Depot...) But really when taking on a project like any of these, it is nice to have a partner to help. But whether that is moving materials, measuring, or deciding between two designs, the kind of help varies. Please, stranger, don't offer to help me load wood into my car. But yes, my aunt can offer to pick the wall color. When should you offer your assistance to someone else, whether you know them or not?

1. When it looks like someone is struggling
• The best time to offer an extra hand is when it is obvious that one is needed. Whether it is something too big for them to handle or something new to them, it might be hard for them to do something on their own. Please time your offer to help early on though because if you're asking after two flights of stairs, you'll get a glowering reply!
2. When you are an expert
• Even if you don't see someone struggling, you may see a better way for the way they are doing things. You've done it so many times that you can do the activity with your eyes closed. You know an efficient method, a better design, or simply more detail that can help them in the future. This is a great time to offer to help BUT ask first. Make sure that your advice is welcome. They might not have time to listen, the patience to care, or they might really want to figure it out for themselves. Respect that and don't butt in regardless.
3. When it's polite
• Asking to help because you think "you should" is not a good reason at all. Sure, chivalry isn't dead, but if you aren't asking because of one of the reasons above, you aren't providing a service, you may be contributing to the problem. Offering to help means you think someone needs your help and so asking out of politeness may come across as rude instead.

I'm inspired this week not only by the Supreme Court ruling on Gay Marriage but also Jurassic World coming out in theaters. Over the weekend I watched the original Jurassic Park... for the first time. I know, it may be as great an insult as not seeing Star Wars, but it was just one of those I hadn't seen all the way through. My reaction after watching this? NO WONDER WHY FEMINISTS ARE ANGRY; THIS WAS FEMINISM IN THE 90'S AND WE ARE WHERE NOW? Back then you could make comments (the chivalry moment) but it didn't change the character from being badass. Take the Alien 1 movie too. Or the Terminator movie. That is feminism. That is being who you want without consequence. That is being treated equally and no one even freaking noticing. Nowadays anytime a comment like that is mentioned you are instantly put into one of three categories:

1. Crazy Feminist
• Equality? I bet you wish women didn't have boobs; then we'd be equal. I bet your dreams consist of men on leashes vacuuming your house for you. Why do you want special treatment, you can make babies, isn't that special enough? Why are you trying to turn the world upside down?
2. Anti-Feminist
• Men and women have had a good thing going for a long time, splitting responsibilities. They belong in the kitchen, seen and not heard, while men protect them. If they aren't pretty or pregnant they should be killed.
3. Lesbian
• If you love another woman then you must care more about your partner's rights than your own. Your priorities are on making your homosexual relationship work and so any heterosexual questions, including work and social ones, are ignored and not important.

WTF?! Putting people in a blame category just makes this whole feminism movement worse. It doesn't matter WHAT your opinion is, we just want equality and then we want to be left alone. We want the fact that we are a woman to be an afterthought; we want you to not worry about if we'll sue after you say something rude. We want you to feel comfortable solving problems with us without asking how we're feeling. We want to be paid the same for our efforts without you thinking we are saving up to leave the company for kids.

We don't want a feminist movement at all. Let's start by getting rid of these labels and just be grateful and respectful of our differences, our strengths, and our actions. Be who you are, love who you want, and treat everyone the same by not putting us in box that is racist or sexist.

Maybe I am inspired by Freakonomics, but I think one of the most influential factors of women's rights is gay marriage. A couple with two woman or two men means that the traditional roles don't exist. Equality at home and at work is a very different argument because both partners are "naturally good at" the same thing and must both compensate. This challenge looks like role reversal in some context and actually forces acceptance in community expectations. There is no "sugar daddy", "bread winner", or one that "wears the pants". So why are heterosexuals still bound by these labels?

1. Debunk the Myths
• All girls don't like pink, play with dolls and wear high heels. If your daughter dislikes these things it doesn't make her any less of a girl. Just because she knows how to change the oil in her car or do calculus only means she is handy and smart. So invite your girl friends fishing and your boy friends to the art show because a personality doesn't say anything about one's gender or sexual orientation.
2. Debunk Tradition
• Woman stay at home and men bring home the bacon, right? That's the only way? No. The best way? No. There are already situations with single parents or same sex parents. They all can (and do) raise kids. They all can and do have jobs. The traditional definition of family has changed and can be with furry kids, no kids, adopted kids, inseminated kids, etc. so there is no longer a societal norm so we need to let go of the expectations that go along with them.
3. Debunk Your Nature
• Sure, women have the babies, you can't argue with that. And ya, pregnancy is 9 months long, but maternity leave doesn't have any rules. By law you aren't an independent adult until 18 and you can't drink until 21; did that ever stop you from finding ways around the "guidelines"? There is always someone that will push the boundaries and challenge the norm. Know the difference between making your own tough choices and accepting the choices others make for themselves that you can't change.

The argument we are preaching is to "change men" and get them to start caring about something that they just don't do [enough of] now. Instead of fighting for work equality, maybe we should encouraging them to join us on our side of the fence. Appeal to their already existing emotions and talk about what men already love: their families. We should tell men to do MORE of what they love rather than try to change it to be for working with women. Here's why I think this technique would be more effective:

1. It's a selfish game
• Men (and women) want to fight for their own success. It is a selfish game. It is a personal game. We can't ask them to give up their salaries for equal pay. We can't ask them to quit a job to stay home with the kids. We need to share the burden, together. Be an active participant in your kids lives and get the dads more involved... and not just on masculine tasks like taking out the trash and replacing light bulbs but also grocery shopping and hair brushing.
2. The metrics don't lie
• Men (and women) don't prefer woman managers. However, companies that include women in the boardroom return higher revenue than companies that don't. Most disturbing is the affect of unconscious bias. There are tons of statistics that show men and women have strengths and weaknesses that compliment each other if both are involved yet there it still feels like an uphill battle. We need to work together at work and at home to overcome these challenges.
3. Proven to work
• In WWII men left for war. The barriers for woman doing hard labor left (literally). We (women) are asking for work-life balance and are fighting a one sided battle of getting working rights. Encourage men to spend more time at home raising their sons, raising their daughters. Then the opportunities for woman to pick up the slack in the work place will appear. Change the focus from the work environment to the home environment!

I bet as a consequence the nation would see a decrease in divorce rates and child depression/violence. When dads live at home versus away even makes an impact so can you image if they went to soccer games, took their kids fishing, and cooked dinner? Happy healthy kids, couples, and families!

The unconscious bias against women's in the workplace is a subject near and dear to my heart that I know a lot of facts about and have experienced personally on many levels. Honestly we haven't made much progress in the last 40 years. Only 17% woman sit on Fortune 500 boards. The US is the only country to not have paid maternity leave. Woman are paid only $0.77 on the dollar compared to men's wages. So here is a 3-part blog post on some very unconventional thoughts I have on the matter.

I don't know how closely you follow social trends but the #whyileft and #heforshe twitter hashtags actually happened within the same weeks. One trying to tell men to not abuse their female partners and the other trying to tell men to support woman in the workplace more. Both of these issues, abuse and discrimination, occur simply because we are a different sex! It seems like a frustrating battle that keeps reoccurring with no actual long term change happening. Why? Here are a few things to think about:

1. You're doing it wrong
• No one likes to be told "no", "you're doing it wrong" or "stop doing that". No one and yet that is our message. Rape is bad; don't do it. Abuse is wrong; don't do it. Treating woman unequally isn't right; don't do it. This is a tough message to swallow if you are the target. Even though it is a good one, we need to instead offer alternatives. Instead of "don't do this" try a message of "do this". Tell people to give more compliments. Teach your kids to share their emotions out loud. Tell people to add child care services to the company benefits plan.
2. I hear what you're saying, but
• I think it is an important issue. You think it is an important issue. We are both active in making our personal lives not be filled with such hatred. That is all I can do, right? Some people think that there isn't a problem or if there is it isn't there problem. If think your vote doesn't counts, you don't act. If you yourself aren't surrounded by such situations, you don't speak out. Even if you aren't faced with the issue yourself, join the conversation. No matter how tough a subject is, the more we talk about it with others, the more chance we have of making a difference.
3. Ignorance is bliss
• Who is it you are trying to change behavior of? The ones that stick their fingers in their ears and sing "lalalalala" or point there fingers at others. The ones that aren't listening. The ones that don't think they have a problem. Abuse and discrimination can be very unconscious acts and soon become the norm. You don't know any other way! Show them another way. Flood the gossip channels with stories of working together, of happy families achieving their goals, or teams sharing passion.