I'm in Iowa this week for business! There are so many reasons why I love my job at Tyler, but this week has been a special experience being onsite at the County Office buildings on Election Day with so many of the elected officials. Many people planned late nights to watch the results roll in and there was a constant flow of friendly "good luck" quips throughout the halls. Politics isn't for everyone and even if all you do is your civic duty of voting every November 4th, make it count and learn to appreciate your civil servants!

1. Don't judge quickly
• The political ads and single policy platforms make it too easy to pick sides with little further thinking. Feel strongly about one issue and you can be blinded by how they react to other issues that they will undoubtedly be voting on. Sure it seems like 6 of one 1/2 dozen of the other but don't make it a coin flip!
2. Be in their shoes
• The data and opinions that these people work with every day are strong. It can be hard to stay the course and finish the goals you started with such opposition. I bring lots of change into the office with my company's software and the officials' patience is commendable. They really are cool and collected while faced with the opposition of people and technology that they don't understand. In their shoes I would be much more difficult to work with!
3. Trust they are doing their best
• Every action in the office is because the officials care about doing things right. I've seen the officials protect the county by being overly protective of confidential information, being picky about how information is transferred, and question requested changes to the process. It may seem silly and annoying from my perspective but at the same time it reaffirms my faith in the political system. They really do have your back in the way they look out for the public and trust the law.

Maybe I am inspired by Freakonomics, but I think one of the most influential factors of women's rights is gay marriage. A couple with two woman or two men means that the traditional roles don't exist. Equality at home and at work is a very different argument because both partners are "naturally good at" the same thing and must both compensate. This challenge looks like role reversal in some context and actually forces acceptance in community expectations. There is no "sugar daddy", "bread winner", or one that "wears the pants". So why are heterosexuals still bound by these labels?

1. Debunk the Myths
• All girls don't like pink, play with dolls and wear high heels. If your daughter dislikes these things it doesn't make her any less of a girl. Just because she knows how to change the oil in her car or do calculus only means she is handy and smart. So invite your girl friends fishing and your boy friends to the art show because a personality doesn't say anything about one's gender or sexual orientation.
2. Debunk Tradition
• Woman stay at home and men bring home the bacon, right? That's the only way? No. The best way? No. There are already situations with single parents or same sex parents. They all can (and do) raise kids. They all can and do have jobs. The traditional definition of family has changed and can be with furry kids, no kids, adopted kids, inseminated kids, etc. so there is no longer a societal norm so we need to let go of the expectations that go along with them.
3. Debunk Your Nature
• Sure, women have the babies, you can't argue with that. And ya, pregnancy is 9 months long, but maternity leave doesn't have any rules. By law you aren't an independent adult until 18 and you can't drink until 21; did that ever stop you from finding ways around the "guidelines"? There is always someone that will push the boundaries and challenge the norm. Know the difference between making your own tough choices and accepting the choices others make for themselves that you can't change.

The argument we are preaching is to "change men" and get them to start caring about something that they just don't do [enough of] now. Instead of fighting for work equality, maybe we should encouraging them to join us on our side of the fence. Appeal to their already existing emotions and talk about what men already love: their families. We should tell men to do MORE of what they love rather than try to change it to be for working with women. Here's why I think this technique would be more effective:

1. It's a selfish game
• Men (and women) want to fight for their own success. It is a selfish game. It is a personal game. We can't ask them to give up their salaries for equal pay. We can't ask them to quit a job to stay home with the kids. We need to share the burden, together. Be an active participant in your kids lives and get the dads more involved... and not just on masculine tasks like taking out the trash and replacing light bulbs but also grocery shopping and hair brushing.
2. The metrics don't lie
• Men (and women) don't prefer woman managers. However, companies that include women in the boardroom return higher revenue than companies that don't. Most disturbing is the affect of unconscious bias. There are tons of statistics that show men and women have strengths and weaknesses that compliment each other if both are involved yet there it still feels like an uphill battle. We need to work together at work and at home to overcome these challenges.
3. Proven to work
• In WWII men left for war. The barriers for woman doing hard labor left (literally). We (women) are asking for work-life balance and are fighting a one sided battle of getting working rights. Encourage men to spend more time at home raising their sons, raising their daughters. Then the opportunities for woman to pick up the slack in the work place will appear. Change the focus from the work environment to the home environment!

I bet as a consequence the nation would see a decrease in divorce rates and child depression/violence. When dads live at home versus away even makes an impact so can you image if they went to soccer games, took their kids fishing, and cooked dinner? Happy healthy kids, couples, and families!

The unconscious bias against women's in the workplace is a subject near and dear to my heart that I know a lot of facts about and have experienced personally on many levels. Honestly we haven't made much progress in the last 40 years. Only 17% woman sit on Fortune 500 boards. The US is the only country to not have paid maternity leave. Woman are paid only $0.77 on the dollar compared to men's wages. So here is a 3-part blog post on some very unconventional thoughts I have on the matter.

I don't know how closely you follow social trends but the #whyileft and #heforshe twitter hashtags actually happened within the same weeks. One trying to tell men to not abuse their female partners and the other trying to tell men to support woman in the workplace more. Both of these issues, abuse and discrimination, occur simply because we are a different sex! It seems like a frustrating battle that keeps reoccurring with no actual long term change happening. Why? Here are a few things to think about:

1. You're doing it wrong
• No one likes to be told "no", "you're doing it wrong" or "stop doing that". No one and yet that is our message. Rape is bad; don't do it. Abuse is wrong; don't do it. Treating woman unequally isn't right; don't do it. This is a tough message to swallow if you are the target. Even though it is a good one, we need to instead offer alternatives. Instead of "don't do this" try a message of "do this". Tell people to give more compliments. Teach your kids to share their emotions out loud. Tell people to add child care services to the company benefits plan.
2. I hear what you're saying, but
• I think it is an important issue. You think it is an important issue. We are both active in making our personal lives not be filled with such hatred. That is all I can do, right? Some people think that there isn't a problem or if there is it isn't there problem. If think your vote doesn't counts, you don't act. If you yourself aren't surrounded by such situations, you don't speak out. Even if you aren't faced with the issue yourself, join the conversation. No matter how tough a subject is, the more we talk about it with others, the more chance we have of making a difference.
3. Ignorance is bliss
• Who is it you are trying to change behavior of? The ones that stick their fingers in their ears and sing "lalalalala" or point there fingers at others. The ones that aren't listening. The ones that don't think they have a problem. Abuse and discrimination can be very unconscious acts and soon become the norm. You don't know any other way! Show them another way. Flood the gossip channels with stories of working together, of happy families achieving their goals, or teams sharing passion.

It isn't all about you. Let me say that again: it isn't all about you. I don't care how good of a driver you are but your headlights purpose is not solely for you to see where you are going at midnight. Your headlights help other people see YOU! So if it is not sunny and bright outside, turning your headlights on (and subsequently also your running lights) makes you visible. The people driving around you in the rain, snow, dust storm, whatever, can now see you coming from the other direction or merging like a moron (cough, Colorado drivers, cough).

Why do you not do it with the lights on!?

1. Because I'm Being Defensive
• Defensive driving means you are limiting your thinking to reactive. Sure, it is smart to be aware of the other drivers around you but where you are will change how they drive. If you are more visible to the offensive drivers right on your bumper then they may give you another extra few inches.
2. Because I'm Being Selfish
• Maybe when you got in your car you flipped your light on and off to see if it did anything. Or maybe your car is soo smart it is supposed to "take care of itself". Do you think you are the only one on the road? No... otherwise you wouldn't be sitting in traffic right now. Help the traffic help you and turn your lights on for others on the road with you.
3. Because I'm Oblivious
• The worst! You are so involved in what is going on inside the car (music, cell phone, heater, whatever) you just don't even realize that you should turn your wipers or headlights on. Why do you think that truck cut you off? They must want you to start your day off with the wrong foot forward. Uh, no... open your eyes and please just drive!

Money is a tough conversation, no matter who with, how much, or what it is being spent on. I always feel like the moment a dollar figure comes into play, things turn serious. Money puts a value on things and whether that is your time, your effort, or someone else's effort and sometimes you may be surprised by the answer. This is beyond the usual make vs. buy (to DIY or not DIY) conversation into a whole other realm of is it worth it. Here are some trick questions that might help you get to the bottom of a money question.

1. Would you pay 10% more for the same thing?
• Sometimes simply putting the ball in the court of "more" is enough to tip the scale from a "need" to just a "nice to have". This is a great technique if going from a $0 to a not-$0 amount say in an all-encompassing contract. If the extra cost of quality on something specific is worth an added fee though, go for it.
2. If all of a sudden it was free (or highly discounted), would the value stay the same?
• Sometimes the price tag alone can be a status symbol. Take a new 2015 BMW 7 series for example. Would it means the same if everyone could pick one up tomorrow at the cost of a 3 series? Probably not. Even if you still enjoyed the car, the uniqueness would be lost along with the desire for the competitive speed.
3. Would you still need/want this in 6 months?
• Does the age of something increase or decrease its importance? A bottle of wine might be worth a few percentage points more but a computer game would be on the discount shelves as old news. Maybe you bought an alternative or the development time has doubled unexpectedly and now the sunk costs make you rethink your original decision. Technology moves quickly so assess the long term implication of the cost... or cost savings.