Some Wounds Never Heal: 3 Ways Unemployment Still Has Its Affects

Last month I hit my one year anniversary at my new (can I still call it new?) company. Hooray! What I realized though is that emotionally it is more a relief than a celebration. A year ago I was unemployed after being laid off and well, it still stresses me out to think about it. It wasn't a fun time and having a new company that values me makes me feel like I did come out ahead in the end, but that doesn't make it worth it. That feeling, that experience, sticks with me and has become a part of me in ways that I wish it wasn't.

photo credit: Pleister(werk) via photopin (license)

1. Badge of Honor
• I mention it to others more than I'd like. I never wanted to be laid off; I wanted to find and stay with a company for a long time like my Dad did. It's funny how a few words can say so much about your professional life and describe how you got to where you are. I feel like I gain some respect from older generations when I share "the tough times" but I guess I don't know for sure.
2. Fear of a Repeat
• At the end of the 2014, I took my last vacation day to just relax at home; and I will never do that again. Having the house to myself during a weekday felt like being unemployed for a day and it was an unsettling reminder. I don't like that the memory is so easy to recall and that it affects home and work. I'm in a good place now, why do I hold onto this old burden?!
3. Still Conservative
• I've always been a conservative spender and now I feel that it has gotten worse! Money doesn't make you happy but when you don't have it, now that can make you unhappy. I do a lot of safe investing now "just in case" because I relied upon it for 6 months. I want to be better prepared for what I hope will never happen again. I survived but that doesn't mean it'd be easier the next time around.

Regardless of my past unfortunate events, I hope that my confidence will improve and that things will be different this time around. Here's to many more future anniversaries!